Danyale has been gone for two weeks now. The first week we tried to make up, or at least be cordial. It worked to begin with, but right before she would leave, we’d fight. One night I went out, got her her medicine, bought her World of Warcraft so we’d have something to do. I even let her borrow my car. This is after we broke up, so I was exceedingly generous.
When she came back from her friends, she was cuddling with me, and I was trying to get her copy of WoW installed so she could play it. I remember she said she wanted to cuddle, but I kept insisting on just a second because I wanted to get this thing installed for her. A few minutes of “Just a second later” and she got angry, and wanted to go to her sister. She started yelling, and like usual I yelled back.
There was crying from both of us, but it ended with us telling each other “I love you” when she left. By the time she went inside, things seemed fine. She was supposed to go to her parents that weekend, and I even thought and suggested about taking her up there. Thing’s seemed on the up.
Fast forward a week, and thing’s are back to as shitty as they have ever been, and I’m sitting her confused as usual. She’s seeing some guy, and I’ve got a girl I’ve seen a few times. We’ve talked a few since then,most notably with me telling her I still love her, and her telling me she still loves me and misses me. That’s what’s the most agaonzing thing is, the girl can’t tell me to get away. She can say she still loves me, and even say ‘forever and ever’, but stick with some kid who treats her like shit.
She’s still on my cell phone plan, and I can’t objectively say if she still loves me or is using me. Last night, we were supposed to hang out, just watch a movie, and try to be civil with each other. A few hours after we made plans, when I called her and told her I was coming over. She told me then she couldn’t because she was afraid of what she’d do. I asked her if she missed me again, and she said yes.
At this point, I really don’t know what to do. I tried to give her space Friday, but kept calling her Friday night, and we had a really sarcastic talk. That didn’t help things at all, but I did tell her if My minutes get close to going over (which they are) she’s off my cell phone plan. I told her I didn’t want to speak to her until next Sunday, an entire week.
Who knows what will happen in an entire week. I do miss Danyale, but I’m getting tired of the status quo. I spent the day today playing WoW and watching movies. Tomorrow, I have to work all day, so I won’t have time to think about her then. Monday, I’ll be tired from working Sunday, so most likely, I’ll just pass out when I get home. And then finally Tuesday, I have company coming over, so my entire night should be taken up then.
By this time, Danyale should have gone over her minutes, which would let Me get rid of it. Even if she isn’t using me, she still shouldn’t be on my plan since we’re not dating. I shouldn’t have to do favors for her like pick up medicine because the guy she’s with doesn’t work or have a car. I shouldn’t have to even worry about her asking for anything. Hopefully, I won’t with this week ‘off’, which might turn into a even longer time ‘off’ when I have no way to get a hold of her.
She’ll hate me for it when I do it. She’ll cry, she’ll bitch, she’ll moan. Hell, maybe it won’t even come to that. But odds are if it doesn’t, come Sunday we’ll fight once again, because she won’t know what she wants. And then, that will be the final straw. No matter what, if she doesn’t change her mind by Sunday, I’m cutting the girl lose. I’m doing what everyone around me has told me to do. I’m going to do what I should have done long ago—turn of my feelings and take action.
