This apartment is like a cell with no one else around. I think it’s actually driving me crazy. I keep thinking I see things moving out of the corner of my eye, and when I focus on whatever, I don’t see anything. It makes me very uncomfortable.
I wouldn’t say its psychotic, or there’s not something actually being blown around or something, but damn it, this place does feel like a cell. I’ve been getting out more than usual lately, but coming home to an empty house always feels like such a downer.
I miss waking up to someone next to me, I miss climbing over someone and scrambling to work. I don’t know if I just kept Danyale around so long just to have someone else here. There was love and attraction there, but then again, I stood by thru a lot that I shouldn’t have. Did I put up with so much shit because of not wanting to be alone?
I really haven’t thought about her much lately. She’s tried to contact me, and I’ve been pretty bitter and stand offish towards her. Its not that I still don’t care for her, rather, I just can’t be with her the way she is now. Maybe if she had a job for more than a fraction of the time we were together, things might have turned out different