Deep Inside My Thoughts

A week ago Danyale and I broke up.  We’ve only really talked a few times since then, but talking to each other has made us both a little more hurt.  I still love the girl—I always will, and she still loves me.  But, she has so many issues she needs to work out that it seems I take the fault for them, and I never take enough of the blame.

She asked to get married a few days ago.  Someday, I do see myself married to her, but how in the hell can I say yes when there’s trauma in our lives?  She won’t move back in because she thinks being stuck in a small apartment is the fault.  I won’t date her until she’s moved back in, because after a year, we’re either serious, or we’re not.  I can’t get a new apartment right this moment either, which means neither of us are happy as we could be, and we’re both getting frustrated at the situation.

I really am taking this breakup better this time than last.  Maybe it’s because even though we’re broken up, things are still vaguely the same, or that I really came to the conclusion last time that I can exist without her.  I’ve been sleeping fine for this entire week, only pausing once every so often to think about her.

Don’t get me wrong, I really do miss her.  I miss having someone to cuddle up to at night.  I miss that damn smile of hers.  I even miss knowing she’ll be mad at me cause I stayed up most of the night again.  It’s funny how things, both positive and negative, can be missed so easily.