Deep Inside My Thoughts

Grey Goose vodka is by far my vodka of choice.  Ever since I had it at a party quite a few years ago, I’ve been hooked on it, and it’s basically pretty much the only thing I’ll drink, save the ocassional beer.  Tonight is different though.  I’m laying in bed, with a bottle of ice cold vodka sitting next to me, and I’m drinking straight from the bottle.

When it comes to drinking, I’m pretty damn responsible.  I never drink and drive, nor do I usually actually get drunk, but let me tell you, composing a blog post while drunk is frustrating.  It’s all endless corrections, both spelling and grammar.  Writing comes easily enough to me when I’m sober, but with a few (or more than a few) swigs of Vodka, my head is spinning and thoughts are coming out dislocated.

My drunken thoughts tonight turn to my own reality.   It’s often said that perception is one’s own reality, and what’s real doesn’t particularly matter, since it’s all how we perceive things.  But how does one ensure his own reality is actually what’s really happening?  How can someone make decisions based on what may turn out to be half-truths?  Personal bias distort the perception, so am I  really hearing or seeing what I really am seeing?

Sure, I’m beating around the bush about the core issue of this blog post.  I’m afraid to come out and say it.  But, how really can I be sure of things?  My heart says one thing, but my mind and logic lead me to another.  Am I just a pessimistic person in general, reading negativity into anything and everything I can?  I’m happy most of the time, but damnit, I see a storm cloud inside a silver linging and wonder.   Even the smallest things get my logic going off on a tangent.  I need to stop…

I can’t write anymore.  I need to sleep.  I need to shut down my damn brain, and just drift off into mindless dreamlands.