You know, I’m sure my brother and I would both say we have nothing in common. Except, for one thing, women. Poor Ryan has been jerked around by Lauren, and I’m pretty much in the same boat with Danyale. At least I think so at least. I’ve never met Lauren, but from the way she acts, and what I know from Ryan, her and Danyale are kind of alike.
His events have been unfolding for probably a year now, and as far as I know, he still loves the damn girl. I wonder if Danyale still loves Me? This past week I’ve been fine not talking to her, not seeing her, and until about Friday I didn’t speak to her. I can walk away, and be fine about it.
In fact, like I told her last week on Sunday, she’s supposed to find someone to sign for liability of her account, so in case things don’t ultimately work out, and she hasn’t got a job, they’ll be liable for her, and not me. I don’t know if I’m still going to follow through on that though. Part of me wants her off my plan, but if she can’t find anyone to sign for her, she’d be stuck phoneless and for a person with seizures, that’s a bad thing. On the other hand, I can always reach her, and usually she picks up. So I have to decide if I need to cut her loose or not.
The last few days I’ve been wondering what she’s been thinking about. I wonder if she still has feelings, and still think we’re supposed to be together someday. I’m stuck in Kansas for the next two months at least, so maybe it’s a bad idea to totally cut her out of my life, because I really enjoy the time I spend with her, at least when we’re not fighting. I’d be totally fine with losing Danyale; walking away from her and never seeing her again. This last week of non-communications has proved that.
But it has also made me think of why I came out here in the first place. Yes, Danyale does have issues. I knew that coming in. I also know how much she still cares about me, how trapped she feels, and even though she won’t admit it; how much she still cares about me. This entire thing feels like a Greek Tragedy, and if it ends with the sadness I feel now, I’ll be comfortable with that. But I guess I have to be optimistic too, hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst.
Time will only tell what happens…I don’t think things could get any worse than they are now, and things can only mostly get better. Sure, she might end up still feeling depressed and afraid of commitment in a few months, but I will have done everything I can to have helped her by then, and if it doesn’t work out, I’m okay with that.
