If I’m leaving Kansas in slightly over two months, what’s the point in making new friendships and looking for something else? I don’t really see any point at all. The only possible way I’m staying in this state probably isn’t going to work out, so why even go through all the hassle of it? All that would happen is either me missing being able to see said friend, or vice versa.
I’ll continue to go out once in awhile, but I think I’m pretty much resigned back into staying at home most nights. I used to enjoy spending time with Danyale here, and now I enjoy spending time alone by myself.
Speaking of her, I talked to her for a few minutes late tonight, and seems like her parents are in town, and her dad said something to piss her off. She wouldn’t tell me what, just that she admitted part of her fear of commitment was because of her father. So that makes my mind wonder even more about what possibly could have happened. Maybe I’ll find out tomorrow.
I don’t quite know why I can’t just break ties with her, and I find myself doing what I told her I hated her doing—shifting emotions back and forth. I usually bite my tongue when we’re talking but for some reason, I let an “I love you” slip out. Probably not doing any of us any good, but still, I meant it. This begs the question, how can you want to spend your life with someone, be with them, and not be able to be together now because of events going on in your life?
Bah, I give up.
