Deep Inside My Thoughts

This is day 3 of a 14-day journal exploring the thoughts and feelings behind my recent breakup.

Lunch today was great! I got to her work about 20 minutes early, so I passed the time playing on my cell until she came out. She looked so damn beautiful in just a white shirt…its crazy what a few days will do to you. I suppose you never know what you have until you lose it right?

So during the drive to pick up her check, and head to the bank, we’re talking and joking. It’s quite a weird feeling breaking up with someone, and joking, talking, and even kissing here and there. I wouldn’t say she’s having as tough of a time as I am, but still, I can tell the past few days have taken a toll on her. Lunch wasn’t very serious, but I said I loved her again, and she said it back.

After we got her check, we ran to the bank, and finally speed to the restaurant to eat. We choose Hardies, because, well, it just sounded good and quick. We ended up going through drive-thru to grab some burgers, and sat in the car to eat. On the way back to her work, I had my arm wrapped around her, just feeling good just holding her one more time. There was some more small talk on the way, and her telling me she wouldn’t make a rash decision. I told her she had two months to make up her mind.

It was decided I’d pick her up from work at six, so we could immediately go out to dinner. Problem was, we weren’t very hungry then, so we stopped in at Best Buy so she could buy a cell phone case. She got a respectable clear case for her new RAZR V3m, and we left. We still weren’t quite hungry, so we went to Target to look around.

Target occupied us for about two hours, just walking around the entire store, her buying some clothes and what not. We were holding hands about 20 minutes in, joking around, and kissing each other when the aisles were clear. It was very nice! Probably the only time I’ll never ever bitch about shopping again. Just spending time with her was…amazing!

Texas Roadhouse is what we decided on for dinner. Turns out, she’d never been there before. I found that quite odd, because I used to go to Roadhouse quite a bit back in Indiana. But, she seemed to enjoy the ambiance there, and as it turns out, every song they played there was a depressing love song. That was kind of ironic. \

The dinner went quite well, except for her mix up with her salad. Turns out she didn’t like the first one because it had tomato on it, and the second one, she didn’t like because of the taste of the dressing. Oh, and she wanted that second one to be “only crispy lettuce” (iceburg), which might have contributed to the taste ;). Right after I had finished eating, she’s cutting her medium rare steak, and her knife slips, and she knocks animal blood all over me. All I could do is look back at her with a stunned face while she laughed. I was laughing on the inside, promise.\

She needed to get home, so I drove to her sisters house. We sat outside for maybe 10 minutes talking, and kissing. The whole entire date kind of felt like the giddy feeling you’d get back in high school when you landed a date with the chick you loved forever. It was hard watching her go back inside her new ‘home’, but I screamed “You had Me at ASL!” as I drove off. I’m pretty sure it made her smile. God, I love her smile, it really does make me weak.

I figured she had a great time tonight, and I know I did. Since I’m trying to romance her back, I’ve arranged for three roses to be delivered to her work tomorrow. The card reads “Last night was amazing, I miss you, and I love you ‘forever and ever’. Love, Aaron”. I don’t know how she’ll react, but I think the flowers were beautiful, and I think it will really brighten up her day, as well as get her mind on to me.

With us saying we still love each other, I don’t see how things can’t work themselves out. When that happens—if it happens—, it will be like that fairy tale love she claims she can’t find. All she has to do is open her eyes, and give me a reason and a purpose.