Deep Inside My Thoughts

This is day 2 of a 14-day journal exploring the thoughts and feelings behind my recent breakup.

I woke up today to the sound of my cell phone ringing. Somehow, I managed to fall asleep at 10 am finally, and woke up to Danyale calling me during her lunch hour at 1. I thought about not answering it, but quickly decided against it. Today leaves me even more confused than I was yesterday.

We talked for about 25 minutes that hour. I told her I wanted to take things slow, how much I cared for her, and how I think we were supposed to be together according to whatever cosmic plan there is. Then she laid a kicker on me: she said “I think I’ve made the greatest mistake of my life”. This uplifted me for a few hours, at least until she called back at six.

Then, we talked again. I told her I loved her, and she said the same back. But she doesn’t think we have a future still. She doesn’t think things would get better. I wonder how someone can feel how they’ve made a huge mistake, and not want to try to fix things. All I know is, I want her, and I want to be happy like we were a week ago. It’s too bad we don’t have that time machine.