Deep Inside My Thoughts

Today has been a so-so day. I went to bed fairly late (call it 7 or 8 am) and woke up about 4pm. I had the worst headache and I was all congested…I hate colds. I did my morning thing, had a smoke and woke up. When my father got home we laid into each other . I left to eat. Stopped at Taco bell, ate inside since there were litterally 20 cars in line. On my way back I ran into Ricther, who told me he quit Target after buying an X-Box. Thats my boy! Stick it to the man I say. Guess we’re gonna go to the movies Friday, gonna see Hero, the new QT flick. Anyways, I came home and logged on for raids. My father needed my help with something so I went afk to help him for a few. All I had to do was hold the damn throttle on his bike open while he siliconed a piece to fix his fuckup. He surely could have taped the throttle open himself. When I got back on, I had a tell from kilok, guess he finally got my PM.

A quote if you will :I’ve considered the risks of meeting Cara in person. If I was any other person I’m sure I would think I was going crazy. But, we get along so well online and on the phone that we both agree that it’s a good idea. There are risks for both of us but we’re both willing to accept those risks to find out if what we feel for each other is something real or substantial. I know I wouldnt change his mind. I’m glad he isnt pissed at me, beause I respect the kid. I think he is like I was. And I know Cara was like she was. I hope it works out for him, because I know that girl made me cry enough, and I dont want him being used by Cara. I hope she’s matured enough in the last week to realize she cant play with another guys heart. She always claimed she never did, but reality is different that principle. It’s always brighter I guess when you first meet someone, but the minute that it becomes normalcy, I hope cara doesnt run to another guy. I don’t really care anymore, but if it was someone else besides Kilok, a guildie, someone I have to interact with everday, I would just laugh at the poor guy. But, Kilok is a guildie, and thus he is family, and I dont want him to get hurt. I did the best thing I could, I’m sure he thinks im just blowing shit, or jealous, but I hope I’m never able to say “I told you so”, She’s his problem now, not mine. I hope things go well,I really do. On a hindnote, its been nice not seeing Cara in game. I hope her schedule keep full, and she doesnt have tme to play. Its easier that way. ALOT easier. Goodluck Kilok. I mean that too.

After raids tonight, I logged on my ranger. Freja and I went to splitpaw to fuck around and PL me. Kay logged in, and came to help. That was sweet of her, and ment a lot … after all its only a 10 minute run. She was there about 20 or 30 minutes, but she got called back to work. That really sucked, we havent played together in about a week. I hope we can soon, think she’s off this weekend, so maybe we can group again. She said she finds out Monday if she gets a shiftchange so she can raid more…that would be…awesome. I look forward to getting to know more about her, but I dont know how to approach her, maybe when I have more time to talk to her I can decide what to do.

I fucked around for awhile on EQ. Lotte got on Yahoo about 2am. We talked a little, but she was a tad distracted. I guess last night when we were talking about Boss shook her up. She did say she was feeling better, and it is her last day on her pills. I hope she feels better tomorrow. I asked her if she was mad at me, she said no, but I guess I have that little voice in my mind that said I caused that. That girl has been thru enough, and us ending up talking about her ex isnt doing her too much good. I debated calling her up to attempt to cheer her up, but I didnt because I dont think it would do any good, and she probably wouldnt answer anyways. If she’s feeling good enough, she should be in class right now, but shes probably asleep. Guess I’ll find out tomorrow what happened. I hate waiting thinking she mad at me. I guess thats just me tho, and she said she wasnt, so I shouldnt think that. I just hope she’s better tomorrow when she IMs me.

Well, guess thats enough for tonight. Actually…I need a quote…one sec….

From Collateral
Vincent : Max, six billion people on the planet, you’re getting bent out of shape cause of one fat guy.
Max : Well, who was he?
Vincent : What do you care? Have you ever heard of Rwanda?
Max : Yes, I know Rwanda.
Vincent : Well, tens of thousands killed before sundown. Nobody’s killed people that fast since Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Did you bat an eye, Max?
Max : What?
Vincent : Did you join Amnesty International, Oxfam, Save the Whales, Greenpeace, or something? No. I off one fat Angelino and you throw a hissy fit.
Max : Man, I don’t know any Rwandans.
Vincent : You don’t know the guy in the trunk, either.