So what happened today…nothing not a damn thing. Cara kept ignoring my tells, so I half-promised myself not to contact her…let her contact me. Tommorrow I will call her, and then if she wants to talk after that, she’ll have to contact me first. I’m tired of worrying about if she wants to talk to me or not…and the last few days I dont think she has. Haven’t really talked in a week now. Trouble in paradise I guess. At first, I really missed her conversation. Then I remembered, I’m not the most important thing anymore. I’m just a part time friend. She doesnt want to talk to me for hours upon hours anymore. When this whole thing began with her and josh, I told her nothing would change between us. But it has. Im not as important anymore, I’m not someone she NEEDs to talk to. I miss the girl who used to say she hurt when we talked, because she smiled so much. Those days are long dead, and I don’t think they’re coming back. It hurts somewhat, but somewhat…it wasnt my decision. She doesnt want to talk,and I accept that. I guess I can be somewhat of a nuisence, because all I really want is someone to talk to. It used to be Cara…and I was the same to her. Its changed now. Priorities change I suppose. Thats what I am…lesser priorties.
Maybe I’m just feeling this way cause I’ve had a bad week and had no one to talk to about it. Maybe not. I dont know anymore, I’m just confused. Cara, I know you’re reading this…if I’m totally wrong tell me. It sucks not feeling wanted anymore. Sometimes its just hard enough to send you a tell…because I know theres a good chance you wont answer. Now my insecurities have flared up, tommorrow better be better, I dont want to be like this all week again.
I dream of sweet dreams and a even sweetier reality.
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