God damn, shit gets worse. I went to that bullshit training for work. 4 hours of nothing but bullshit and happy faces. I’m suprised people can act so happy at work…but I guess those happy faces made $50,000 a year. I guess if I had to do training for a major corporation, I’d be smiling at my shitwork too. That place is a joke, and its funnier becuase people are happy they are there. I’ve never been one to dream small, and I don’t see myself being happy there. The place is a god damn nuthouse. Tomorrow better bring brighter days, or tomorrow night will be the same—me pissed, venting to a computer. Life is ironic sometimes.
Teter came over around 830 and we went to fuck around and have dinner. No sooner than a mile did I drive, then my alternator ball bearings lock up and eat up my belt. I was right behind a stack of corn by a stop sign…so I had to move my car off ot the side. I steered while teter pushed my car, but the ground wasnt solid and we soon found out we pushed it into a ditch. That made my day.. Now I have to pay towing fees. So theres $200 down the drain, Fucking little pirates (there that made me smile) My dad said he would cover the $200 , but I know he wants me to say ill cover it. Life is a bitch, and sometimes you get fucked—-hard. Thats the simple lesson. Though I am glad the thing screwed up now, and not on some cross-country roadtrip or something….that would have been kinda bad.
I’m thinking about calling in to work tomorrow, and just taking a 3 day weekend….its so damn tempting…I just need some ‘me’ time. The last couple of days have (obviously) pissed me off, and i’m starting to get a little down. I need a reason to smile again , badly. I want to feel good again like I did a week ago. I guess I just got dealt a bad hand of cards this week, maybe next week my luck will come back.
Now, I promised last night I would rant about Julliaa. Julliaa, you need help. I have never known anyone in more of a fucked up situation than you. You are engaged to someone you say you love, but fucked a guildmate (who is an officer ) and still have feelings towards him. Then you slept with another friend. I dont know how the fuck your guy doesnt realize what you’re doing. You confide in me, tell me what bothers you, and I do the same to you. Hell, you even fucking called me internationally when you were feeling sad. I have put my hand out for you as a friend , to help you. Listening to everyone elses problem’s arent exactly zen for me. It hurts me to listen to everyones problem…and it overwhelms me. It overwhelms me so much I have to vent to meagan about eveything. I know that girl doesnt need to listen to me all the time bitching to her. I feel bad for that, and I wish I could have someone I could tell everything to again. But anyways, Julliaa, when you say you messed up by trusting me, thats bullshit. You want attention, you want drama. Thats cool, that fine. I know that. But dont expect me to feel sorry if there’s sometimes I dont want to listen to your shitty life.. Its hard to say this, because my family history with suicide, but next time you tell me you’re feeling suicidal…maybe you should swallow a bullet or something. At least pretend to be serious about the damn thing to get sympathy…dont just be a bitch and try to get attention that way. Like all the other people I call friends, I told you I was there whenever you needed me. Keep bringing trivial shit like your love life, and sending mixed signals to me, and I wont be there forever. This rant is complete.
I’m calling Cara now, god I hope i dont piss her off by being in a bad mood. I bet she’s in a pretty happy mood since she just left joshses…she mentioned something about how she felt a connection to him this time. Only time will tel, but I want her to be happy, and ill take offense at anyone who hurts her. Yes, I have gone from the person looking for a relationship to a protective friend….more irony in action., Oh well, dialing now.
