Whew! What a day…more highs and lows…thankfully not mine. Got to work today, all the stuff was done when I got there. I spent 5 hours setting up my displays today. That pretty much sucked, so I was in a very bad mood when I got home. Didn’t really want to get on and raid, only sleep. But I sucked it up and logged on anyways. Lotte seem fine at first, but about 10 or 15 minutes later, she broke down. She told me to “have fun with cara, and hope I got what I wanted”. I don’t know what really set her off, but its bothered me. She said I was like a little puppy to cara, which I guess, I kinda am. Cara is important to me, hands down, but so is Lotte. I guess Lotte still think i’m in love with Cara, but i’m not. Even when I told Lotte I had lost Cara, she wouldnt -tell me what was up. I don’t know what to think really. I’d like to think she views me as a friend. I helped her get out of her darkness once,I hope she trusts me again to help her. I do care about her, she is a god damn good friend. I love talking to her. I dont want to loose that. I don’t want to loose her. When she was in the hospial and I didnt hear from her for a few weeks, I was constantly worrying that she was dead. I cried to cara about that once or twice. Its hard wondering if a friend halfway across the world is alive or dead. I’m powerless to do anything, if she was dead, I wouldnt ever know. I would always be filled with the emptiness of ignorance. Lotte, I hope you read this, and understand how much you do mean to me. If I didnt care I wouldnt be aganizing over it. Don’t leave me like this…you want to take a break from all thats fine, but dont leave me thinking my friend might die.
Lotte, contact me, on yahoo, the phone, or email, I dont care. Let me know how you are doing, and really please talk to me. I care about you. I really do. You are just as important as Cara is to me, Let me help you if you need it, as you have helped me. Do not question that I care about you, because I DO. Talk to me lotte, for your sake and mine . 
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