Deep Inside My Thoughts

I just watched Inception, and I’m awestruck by how amazing this movie was. I think I’m going to try to catch ANOTHER showing of it tomorrow, just so I can figure out some lingering plot twists. FREAKING AMAZING MOVIE! I think it even beat out Shutter Island in my book .

I thought I had a computer virus someone that Avast didn’t catch. I spent 13 hours scanning, chkdsk’ing, and booting live CDs to scan for virsues only to find out it wasn’t my laptop. It seems that my new Wireless Router is giving me CRC errors when I download ANYTHING. I can’t open zips, or rar’s; and videos that are downloaded show signs of corruption.

I need to fix this, or buy a new router ASAP.

I’ve been reading in the news how AT&T is raising the cost per GB of their iPhone data plans. I really hope Verizon doesn’t follow suit. I use anywhere from 700MB to 4GB a month of data on my Droid Incredible, and it would be asinine to have to pay even more just to get email and listen to music.

This sort of goes back to text message usage. Text messages represent a 1,000+ times mark up for the data they truly represent. I’m sure 1GB of Celluar Bandwidth at wholesale rates is much,much,much cheaper than AT&T wants us to pay for it. I hope Verizon doesn’t cripple their new smartphone’s like AT&T wants to.

It seems to get longer and longer between updates. I tried to resolve myself to writing more often, but when I sit down to do it, things just don’t flow. Eventually, I get frustrated, and just delete whatever was bothering me that day.

I’m still bothered by work, but I can’t place the reason why. I feel bored, like it’s all just a bad dream. I get tired of doing the same measurements and gathering the same data over and over again. It feels like one of Dante’s hells. I’m taking off this Friday, so I’ll have 4-day weekend with Memorial Day. That will be nice, even if I just lounge at home and mope. Four days a week of work, for two weeks is fine by me.

I’m still not happy or content with my life. I feel like there’s something huge missing, and I’m just going the actions most days. Women around Kansas pretty much bore me. I had a date last Friday that was terrible, and quite frankly a waste of time and money. The girl I was really interested in, well that didn’t turn out at all. I guess I wasted my time with her as well. I guess that’s what things boil down to anymore, a waste of time.

I’ve been talking to my friend Amanda late at night. She’s a recovering alcoholic, and her outlook on life gives me strength and hope, as well as a bit of humor. I’ve been trying to get her ass up here so we can grab some Thai food together, but doesn’t seem that things are working out. She’s always busy, and I hate driving down there. Maybe I’ll get her ass up here before the end of the year to share some noodles with.

Working on this site used to give me so much pleasure. I used to enjoy doing the WordPress thing. I suppose the only thing tech related that has given me pleasure lately has been the new HTC Droid Incredible I got. I’m basically a slave to the forums, waiting for it to be rooted so I can do beyond-geeky things with it. 23 days since it was released, and it’s still not rooted. I’m bringing to lose my faith in the modding community.

Well, maybe I’ll write again soon, maybe I won’t.

I’m getting sick of everybody.  I’m getting sick of my apartment, my friends, my family, and Topeka.  I need to get out soon, or I’m going to snap.  Sigh.

The neon is dead, and I now own my first truck. Interesting.

I just spent the last 5 hours trying to fix the oil leak on my damn car.   Ed from work is helping, and honestly, I couldn’t do anything without his help (or his tools).  But damnit, Neons are engineered so shitty.   Taking off a timing chain cover is like pulling teeth, backwards on a bull.   It’s freaking ridiculous.  Hopefully we can get the car going this weekend, otherwise I might be buying a truck in the future.

I’ve been in this new apartment for just under a month now, and I really have a lot more to do with it.   I still haven’t fully assembled my desk, which I’m sure I broke when I broke completely when I let a piece of particle board snap in half.  My “office” is in complete disarray, as well as still being packed.  I really haven’t touched it at all.

My kitchen however is in much better shape.  I’ve got almost everything covered.  I’m missing a few kitchen essentials like a quality colander, and mostly importantly a coffee pot.  For 3 years I existed with about 5” of counter top at my old place, and while the new place is a lot bigger, the new kitchen gadgets really eat up the space.   I don’t really feel I have adequate area for prep and cooking here either.

I’ve been eating at home a LOT more.  I’ve been eating a lot of Scrambled Eggs, fried myself of course, as well as the bachelor staples of Hot Pockets and Pizza’s.  I’m liking this new Paula Dean cookware I bought, and that makes cooking at home easier.  I can’t wait to buy a roast at the meat market so I can try out my crock pot .

I’ve got curtains up in my bed room, but that’s all that I have in there.   I’m still waiting on a bed frame so I can elevate my bed off of the floor, and finally get a good night of rest.   I’m still waiting on the couch, the dining room table, as well as a dresser to go in my bedroom.  Hopefully I’ll be able to pick all of these up this weekend, and this place can truly start feeling more like a home.

Tomorrow I get to sign the lease on my new apartment.  It’s hard to believe I’ve spent three long years in a small ass studio.  I honestly don’t know how I’ve lived her for so long with so little.

When I first moved out here, everything fit in a car.  Anything that didn’t was discarded or left back in Indiana.  All these years later, I’ve acquired so much junk that it’s going to take six times as many car loads to do the deed.  And I still have to locate a truck to get a bed over there, as well as pick up a couch, table, and dresser I just purchased.

I remember the giddiness I felt driving from Indiana to Kansas.  I remember getting here, signing a lease, and sprawling out on my new floor dead tired from the 10 hour drive the day after Christmas.  I remember Danyale curled up next to me, a huge smile on her face.  I remember running to Walmart six times in one night buying house hold staples that wouldn’t fit in my car for the trip.

Three years changes a lot of things.   It’s been an emotional roller-coaster, some bad, some good, but mostly for the positive.  Tomorrow, life will continue on, but it will advance another step.  I’ll finally be able to be comfortable at my own home, not just existing.   I’ll finally have adequate room to cook and to relax.  I won’t be sleeping in the same room that I just spent six hours on the computer.  Life should be a little happier after tomorrow.

I still have a lot of cleaning left to do at the old place.  Smoking in a studio apartment for three years is disgusting.  I need to clean the blinds, clean the walls, and finally pick up a carpet cleaner to clean the carpet.  I should be mostly moved by Christmas given my casual speed, and the 10 days I have to get out.  But, I will have to run to Walmart a few times to get new stuff for the apartment.  Some things never ever change it seems.

I think I’m the happiest today than I have been in the last few months, and work tomorrow will be very long.